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Someone's Mother
Started by linda mccafferty |
Posted: February 6, 2010 at 17:27 | |
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A Poem found among the possessions of an old lady who died in a geriatric ward of a hospital in Scotland.......copied from mrsa and families network website . What do you see, nurses, what do you see, what are you thinking when you're looking at me? A crabby old woman, not very wise, uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes. Who dribbles her food and makes no reply when you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!" Who seems not to notice the things that you do, and forever is losing a stocking or shoe. Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will with bathing and feeding, the long day to fill Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me. Ill tell you who I am as I sit here so Still, as I use at your bidding, as I eat at your will. I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother, brothers and sisters, who love one another. A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet, dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet. A bride soon at twenty - my heart gives a leap, remembering the vows that I promised to keep At twenty-five now, I have young of my own who need me to guide and a secure happy home. A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast, bound to each other with ties that should last At forty my young sons have grown and are gone, but my man's beside me to see I don't mourn. At fifty once more babies play round my knee, again we know children, my loved one and me Dark days upon me, my husband is dead; I look at the future, I shudder with dread. I'm now an old woman and nature is cruel; 'tis jest to make old age look like a fool. But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells, and now and again my battered heart swells. I remember the joys, I remember the pain, and I'm loving and living life over again. I think of the years - all too few, gone too fast - and accept the stark fact that nothing can last. So open your eyes, nurses, open and see, not a crabby old woman; look closer - see ME!! 23752
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #1 by Claude |
Posted: February 6, 2010 at 20:54 | |
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Thank you for sharing this so very heartbreaking, poignant and sadly so real poem Linda. This is exactly what I am battling with at the moment as this afternoon I visited my mother in law in hospital. Although most of the patients are suffering from dementia, they only receive the very basic of care (and less!) and it is worrying for those who hardly have visitors as the nurses don't bother checking on them, to see if they have had enough to drink and to eat. Why oh why did these nurses go into a caring profession in the first place? But don't you dare ask them any questions or you will be shot, at least with their eyes, replies and arrogance! Here I am on the war path again and ... still alive! 23753
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #2 by linda mccafferty |
Posted: February 7, 2010 | |
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Dear Claude , sooooooo very sorry to hear this about your mother-in-law . this must be a distressing time for you , it was bad enough the stress you went through when your husband Bob died......... never mind having to go through another stressful time with Bob's mother .i loved the above poem as soon as i read it & thought about this lady in her time of need........... it was very poignant to me personally & made me wonder about our caring for our elderly in our hospital's . 23756
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #3 by Legman |
Posted: February 7, 2010 at 01:54 | |
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Linda, that poem is so moving and echoes what we have been discussing of late. I may make use of that in the mag when I start the new initiative if ok by you. 23757
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #4 by Legman |
Posted: February 7, 2010 at 02:22 | |
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Sir, I have read your note also and I really feel your frustrations. I am doing some work on this and Linda aka Mrs Brown, gives me some good advice. Your comment about nurses is most true. I am going through a police complaint procedure at the moment as I went into hospital for 2 ops. They would not give me my prescribed medication; I suffer badly with PTSD/clinical depression and after 8 days I was going off the rails. I called the ward Sister responsible for not checking 'stupid', which she was . They had me for Zero Tolernce abuse so I told them to stick it. The police were called, you won't believe this, but they assaulted me. The next day I collapsed into a deep coma/hallucinatory attack and they called my specialist who told them how stupid they were for not giving me my medication. I never received an apology. BUT, the pendulum swings as the IPCC are now into it. 23758
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #5 by linda mccafferty |
Posted: February 7, 2010 at 15:14 | |
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I found this about the poem while trying to research about this poor soul ........................http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/AnOldLadysPoem.html 23759
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #6 by linda mccafferty |
Posted: February 7, 2010 at 15:24 | |
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I found this from an unknown nurse .............NURSE'S RESPONSE TO CRABBIT OLD WOMAN Author Unknown What do we see, you ask, what do we see? Yes, we are thinking when looking at thee! We may seem to be hard when we hurry and fuss, But there's many of you, and too few of us. We would like far more time to sit by you and talk, To bath you and feed you and help you to walk. To hear of your lives and the things you have done; Your childhood, your husband, your daughter, and your son. But time is against us, there's too much to do - Patients too many, and nurses too few. We grieve when we see you so sad and alone, With nobody near you, no friends of your own. We feel all your pain, and know of your fear That nobody cares now your end is so near. But nurses are people with feelings as well, And when we're together you'll often hear tell Of the dearest old Gran in the very end bed, And the lovely old Dad, and the things that he said, We speak with compassion and love, and feel sad When we think of your lives and the joy that you've had. When the time has arrived for you to depart, You leave us behind with an ache in our heart. When you sleep the long sleep, no more worry or care, There are other old people, and we must be there. So please understand if we hurry and fuss - There are many of you, and too few of us. 23760
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #7 by linda mccafferty |
Posted: February 7, 2010 at 18:28 | |
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Dear Brian , no need to ask my permission for you to put it in your magazine Brian , i think it would be very fitting for your mag . 23761
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #8 by Claude |
Posted: February 7, 2010 at 19:11 | |
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Linda, it is such a big worry and you are right to worry about the care these elderly are receiving. The second poem you posted is probably very true to reality but even if the staff is in a hurry, a little kindness rather than abruptness would be so nice. 23763
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #9 by Claude |
Posted: February 7, 2010 at 21:55 | |
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Dear Legman, I think this is shocking, more like a living nightmare! I am sorry that you have had such a terrible time and wish you luck and a successful outcome. Nothing will make you forget what happened but at least justice will be done I am sure, although receiving an apology would be too much to expect obviously! 23764
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #10 by linda mccafferty |
Posted: February 8, 2010 | |
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I found this ......i must get this film .....http://www.amandawaring.com/what-do-you-see 23765
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #11 by by the late Dave Griffith |
Posted: February 12, 2010 | |
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"Too Soon Old" This poem was originally written 20 years ago by Dave Griffith of Forth Worth, Texas. TOO SOON OLD. What do you see nurses? .. . . .. . What do you see? What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me? A crabby old man . . . .. . Not very wise, Uncertain of habit . . . . . With faraway eyes? Who dribbles his food . .. . . . And makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!' Who seems not to notice . . . . .. The things that you do. And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or a shoe? Who, resisting or not . . ... . . Lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding . . . .. . The long day to fill? Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me. I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will. I'm a small child of Ten . . . .. . With a father and mother, Brothers and sisters . . . . .. Who love one another. A young boy of Sixteen . .. . . With wings on his feet. Dreaming that soon now . . . . . A lover he'll meet. A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . My heart gives a leap. Remembering, the vows . .. .. . .. That I promised to keep. At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . I have young of my own. Who need me to guide . .. . . . And a secure happy home. A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast, Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last. At Forty, my young sons . . . . . Have grown and are gone, But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn. At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee, Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me. Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead. I look at the future . .... . . . Shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing . .. . . . Young of their own. And I think of the years . . . . . And the love that I've known. I'm now an old man . . . . ... And nature is cruel. Tis jest to make old age . . . .. . Look like a fool. The body, it crumbles . .. . . . Grace and vigor depart. There is now a stone . .. . . Where I once had a heart. But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells, And now and again . . . . .. My battered heart swells. I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain. And I'm loving and living . . . . . Life over again. I think of the years, all too few . . . .. .. Gone too fast. And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last. So open your eyes, people . . . . . Open and see. Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . See ME!! 23777
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Re: Someone's Mother
Reply #12 by linda mccafferty |
Posted: February 12, 2010 at 20:06 | |
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There has been some controversay over the authorship of the poem, and lot's of myth's about it being found in hospitals all over the place ie; Scotland , Ireland , America . if you look at all the poems you will see , some state crabby & some state crabbit , the nurses response to the poem states crabbit also ...........the Scot's & the Irish use the word crabbit in their dialect, there is so many naming the poem as ......see me , crabbit old woman , too soon old , and as you can see i named it............ somebody's mother . it does not matter who wrote it , it matters who's heart did it touch ...........i would say "many" . 23780
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